Cats are Evil

An almost daily occurrence…

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New Work

So, I haven’t uploaded anything in a while, but I’ve been busy with school! These are some drawings from my Boston Sketchbook class, where we go to different places and draw. It’s pretty cool.

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Poems for the Home

This is my blender/ I make smoothies for lunch/ They taste really good

Microwaves are neat,/ you can make popcorn in them./ Popcorn is tasty.

One toaster oven/ is like two appliances/ that both heat pizza.

One vacuum cleaner/ can make a lot of loud noise/ that will scare your dog

Standing mixers are/ great for mixing cake batter/ to make pretty cakes.

I was really inspired this week my the kitchen in my apartment. Its been getting really cold here in Boston, and the heat in my building isn’t on yet, so we do a lot of cooking and baking and hang out near the oven. So I decided to explore this inspiration through the ancient art of haikus.

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The Story Behind Mona Lisa’s Smile

I think when it comes to great art people can over complicate things.

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Kids Say the Darndest Things

I once heard a stand up comedian (not sure who) say “Kids say the darndest things…but so would you if you had absolutely no education. And its true. The reason kids are so funny is because they just make stuff up. One example of this is an informational book my sister Sarah and I wrote together when we were kids called “Horses”

Did you know that horses sleep standing up? Well they do! How do they do it?

Do horses brush their teeth with a toothbrush. NO! They don’t. They brush their teeth with a carrot. How do they do it? They eat the carrot!

Do horses just go to the bathroom on hay? NO! They eat it too.

Horses just eat hay and carrots right? WRONG! They eat other stuff too!

We have to go now!

NOT!

Turn the page…

WE HAVE TO GO NOW BYE BYE!

I hope you all enjoyed that, I know I did. I HAVE TO GO NOW BYE BYE!

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Animal Facts! Also, unrelated animal paintings!

I would like to share with you all some neat facts about animals, because it’s important to learn new things.

1.) Butterflies taste sensors are in their feet. They taste their food by standing on it. This may shock and offend some of you, but I hate butterflies. I am more afraid of butterflies than I am of bees. Not only are butterflies the creepiest animals on the planet, they try to land on you. And when they land on you they are tasting you. And if they like what they taste they are going to eat you. Watch out for butterflies.

2.) Recycling! A housefly regurgitates the food it eats and then eats it again! My dog recycles. He eats his poop.

3.)  A group of Kangaroos is called a mob. This fact isn’t as cool or weird to me as it is visually interesting. I imagined a bunch of kangaroos in full mod regalia talking about their plans to run the koala bears out of town, or whatever mob guys talk about. I wouldn’t know, I’m not in the mob.

4.) Elephants spend 23 hours a day eating. I would be the size of an elephant too if I ate 23 hours a day.

5.) Stegosaurus was one of the most famous of the dinosaurs and was an impressive 9 meters long. But its brain was the size of a walnut. You could say the same thing about some guys from my high school.

6.) A cat uses its whiskers to determine if a space is too small to squeeze through. This fact is just the opening to an anecdote. Over the holidays last winter my cat, Carol, and I were back home in Andover MA. I was about to boil some water or something, and as soon as I went to turn on the stovetop carol jumped up to see what was going on, and singed her whiskers in the fire. The tips of her whiskers were curly for months.

7.) Armadillos, opossums and sloths spend up to 80 percent of their lives sleeping. When armadillos, opossums, and sloths are sleeping, do they dream? If they spend most of their time dreaming do they think that they are dreaming when they are awake? What does it all mean?

8.) More human deaths have been attributed to FLEAS than all the wars ever fought. Now we know who our real enemy is. Ready your swatters.

I hope you all learned something new today, and that you enjoyed the animal paintings, I did them just for you!

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Halloween is (Almost) Here!

Its only seven days into October, and we are in Halloween mode at my apartment. Every time we watch a TV show or movie when we hang out it must be Halloween related. We have already gone through most retro Nickelodeon Halloween specials, a few episodes of the twilight zone, a few episodes of Treehouse of Horror, and, most notably, Teen Wolf. The biggest issue resting in our minds is what to be for Halloween. Here are a few of my ideas:

  1. Pick an outfit girls usually turn into a slutty version, and just be the normal version of it. Sexy nurse can now be regular nurse! All you need is a pair of coffee stained scrubs and grubby white tennis shoes. Use a clipboard as a prop and avoid a hairbrush for the day leading up, to maintain that authentic “I just got off a 24-hour shift” look. Sexy police woman can be regular police woman. This one is particularly good because you can pretend to break up parties, which will get everyones adrenaline pumping and is sure to get a few laughs! Sexy Maid can now be realistic maid, just sew yourself a shin length grey smock and accompanying apron, put on your kitchen gloves and tie a scarf around your head. Props can include: broom, toilet brush, windex, or mop. Avoid a feather duster. Not only are feather dusters far too sexy, they don’t actually clean anything. They just move dirt around.
  2. Be an obscure character from popular films. “Oh, are you a lion?”, “Oh yes! I’m Nala’s mom, from The Lion King.” Or, “Oh! Nice suit, are you an FBI agent?” “Oh ha ha ha, I’m Jonathan! From The Rugrats! You know, Angelica’s mother’s co-worker?” Or even, “Nice Fish costume! Whats with the bass guitar?” “Oh HA HA HA, I’m the bass who plays the bass in The Little Mermaid.” Not only is this a great way to get a few laughs, it is a great conversation starter, people love talking about movie.
  3. Lesser known musicians, like really indy ones no one knows about. This will let people know how cool and hip you are and how lame and mainstream they are.
  4. Lady Gaga. Everyone should be Lady Gaga.

I hope my suggestions have been helpful! Also, here is a Halloween painting, just for you!

 

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